We asked our good friend Ichel, Relationship Expert of Love Institute, to help us with helping mothers learn 1) to love themselves (first), then loving their marriage and children would naturally follow; and 2) the right parenting approach, for our personal project.
It’s the month of Love. Moms, I know we’ve been busy with work and family, but what if we broaden Valentine’s Day and make it about self-love and self-care? In school, pediatrician clinic, grocery, I often see moms looking frumpy, their clothes old and baggy, their hair a mess, their faces pale… While their kids’ yayas look a whole lot prettier and sexier than them, wearing skinny jeans, gladiators in pedicure and with shiny conditioned hair. Moms, whatever happend?!?!
I’m sure you’ve come across this post in Facebook: “To all the unselfish moms out there who traded sleep for dark circles, salon haircuts for ponytails, long showers for quick showers, late nights for early mornings, designer bags for diaper bags, and wouldn’t change a thing. Let’s see how many Moms can actually post this. Moms who don’t care about what they gave up and instead LOVE what they got in return! Post this if you love your life as a mom!”
And Ichel revised it to: “To unselfish moms who put eye cream under dark circles, go to the salon & get a nice haircut, take time to shower & pamper her body, enjoy late nights & early mornings, put nappie organizers in her designer bags, & enjoy being her own self & being a mom! Do take care of YOU! And never give up on giving yourself time, love & pampering! That’s the secret for being a great happy MOM! – being a better PERSON to be a better mother!”
She said, “This self-care is called self-love. Self love is different from selfish. It is the healthy love and affirmation of my own being, my own person. I am not doing it for anyone. I owe it to myself. Then in the process, I am able to give more love, I can offer more of myself to my partner, children and all those around me. I believe that I cannot give what I do not have…”
Way to go Mama!
What do you love about yourself?What are your special gifts?How do you treat yourself?What do you love to do and when was the last time you did it?How do you take care of the body temple you have right now?What would it take for you to love yourself and take care of yourself not only on Valentines Day but every day of the year?…Let’s ponder on these questions.
I am surprised that there are many verses in the Bible that says, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 19:19; Matthew 22:37–39; Mark 12:30–31; Luke 10:27; Romans 13:9; Galatians 5:14; James 2:8) Now, the big question is… “How will you love others — your children, your husband… — if you don’t love yourself? I know self-love is usually intertwined with guilt. To be honest, guilt is a subject that I know so well. Actually, I still get it so I still need self-convincing from time to time. It’s a mind-game.
Let’s know the difference between selfishiness and self-care. Let’s know our needs. For me, it’s reading a good book, attending belly dancing class once a week, bonding with girlfriend mamas maybe an hour or two twice a week while the kids are in school, running by myself if time permits after I drop the kids off to school, taking a longER shower, getting myself a nice dress once or every other week… I am so sure that if we started loving ourselves then all our relationships would benefit from it — as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, etc… Take time to be a great lover to yourself. Start now, in love month.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14